Josh & Gary

I think this is the part where everything just falls apart. I don't know what to say, or do, how to feel, how not to feel. What I do feel is numb. Which I'm not sure actually counts as a feeling. My energy and self-esteem are at a complete standstill right now. I feel like I'm emotionally slipping into a coma. I need something to make me feel alive again. Something that will awaken my motivation and my confidence so I'm not just sitting here, wasting my own time.
 

poor capitalization

tomorrow morning when i wake up, i will experience that temporary moment of innocence and bliss... you know what i mean, right? that small, brief moment when your mind is bright and blank, just waking up from the night before. decisions, mistakes, choices, new directions, they will all come rushing back to me after that moment is up. my emotions will start to dance in the front of my mind, and i will already be in the process of facing the day, without even being ready, or wanting to. but in that moment, everything will be perfectly right in the world. and if i can see it and feel it in that one short moment, i know for sure that it does exist, i know that somehow, some way, i can achieve that feeling whenever i want. maybe even permanently. if i try hard enough.

do you ever find yourself caught in a moment that feels almost like you're in a movie? like you're watching yourself and your situation from someone else's eyes, or through a camera lens. and a song comes on, somewhere far off in the distance, or even in your mind... and it absolutely breaks your heart, because there could be no better melody, no more ironic words and movements to complete the moment you're caught up in. does this happen by accident? or are we all so connected in this world that the reason why that artist created that song was to be the soundtrack for your moment, everyone's moment? i'd like to believe so.